More Of You

Jesus I am thirsty

Won't You come and fill me

Earthly things have left me dry

Only You can satisfy

All I want is more of You..

All I want is more of You

All I want is more of You

Nothing I desire Lord

But more of You..

Out of my tiredness and sadness yesterday, this song was suddenly played repeatedly in my mind and my heart. I sang and sang .. and I prayed.. Prayed that God will restore and revive me..

Guess what? Within 5 minutes after I said "amen" .. all the weariness, tiredness, sadness, worries disappear.. Thanks God.. I love You more and more..

Friends Forever..

I always wonder what 'friends forever' is really like.. How do you know that he/she will be your friend forever?

Akhir-akhir ini, mungkin karena kesibukan saya dan Catur, saya merasakan ada 'something missing' in my life. Apalagi ketika saya membuka facebook dan melihat photo updates-nya teman-teman saya dan itu bener-bener membuat saya iri setengah mati. Oh Gosh! I miss them a lot..

Sekali lagi, mungkin karena kesibukan saya dan keletihan yang saya alami, membuat saya berpikir yang tidak-tidak tentang mereka. Dan saya juga mulai introspeksi diri saya, apakah ada yang salah dengan saya? Saya bener-bener merasa 'left out' ..

Saya pikir.. ya sudahlah.. Mungkin memang 'waktu' saya untuk mereka sudah selesai. Sounds 'lebay'?? Hehehe.. ya maklum deh.. saya termasuk tipe 'melankolis'.. :P Dan saya juga bukanlah seseorang yang dengan mudahnya bisa berteman dengan siapa saja. Saya terkesan kaku, pendiam (errr.. Belum tau dia.. Once I talk, I cannot stop.. :D), judes.. (untuk yang ini, I tried not to look like that.. tapi apa daya ya.. bawaan lahir.. Hihihi).. Jadi saat saya bener-bener mendapatkan seorang teman, apalagi sahabat, I'll treasure him/her the most. Saya akui, mungkin terkadang terkesan posesif, mungkin 'keposesifan' saya ini yang membuat saya iri dengan teman-teman saya, atau mereka memilih untuk menjauh dari saya.. Oh well.. time to change, then :p

Tetapi ya gitu.. tiba-tiba muncullah pertanyaan tadi.. "Is there such thing as 'friends forever'.. or do friendships change over time?" Dan konklusi saya jatuh pada "Yes. Friendships do change over time."

It's so nice when friends turn to "best friends".. but it hurts when best friends downgrade to ordinary friends..

I found some quotes about friendship that I like..

“Good friends are like stars.... You don't always see them, but you know they are always there”

“Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart”

Anyway, may be it's just a part of my mellow 'curhat' .. Treasure your friends!

All My Way

The day I chose to give my life to You

Is the day that everything began to change

The problems that I faced

Were getting stronger

I thought when I got saved

My problems would go away

But the change I made

Began to really take a toll on me

And when I told my friends about You Lord

The laughed hysterically

But no matter what they say

Or what they choose to think of me

I'm gonna stay here strong

For You my Lord

No matter what the cost may be

I'm gonna serve You

Because I love You

I'm going with You

All the way

When friends forsake me

I won't let it break me

I'm going with You

All the way

All the way

Now the problems that I face are getting smaller

Because my faith in You

Is getting oh so strong

The peace and love from You

It keeps me standing

Through anything I go through

I know that I can't lose

'Cause the more I pray

The more I feel Your strength inside of me

And the more I seek Your face

I find You're all I really need

And this feeling that I feel

I've never felt since I've been free

I'm gonna stand here strong

For You my Lord

No matter what the cost may be

(All The Way - Ron Kenoly)

I was doing my cardio when I listened to this song. Oh well.. although I have the original CD, but I never listened to it before. The song itself is not special, the tunes are not catchy.. but it was the lyric that struck me and made me pause my exercise for a while..

It is true that as Christians, we sometimes think that life will be very easy.. our problems will be *poof* disappear.. but sorry to say, it won't happen. Problems will make us stronger.. stronger in faith to God and stronger to face our daily life. I love the phrase "The more I pray, the more I feel Your strength inside of me" .. Yup, problems might still arise in our life, but God will strengthen us for sure, IF we pray without ceasing.

Be strong, fellas! God bless you!

Wealthy

On this day, God wants you to know...

that letting go makes you wealthier. Wealth is never measured by what you have, but by what you can give away. You are rich with money when you can afford to donate. You are rich with love when you can give love freely. You are rich with God when you can behold your enemy with compassion.

Help..

God.. Help me... I don't want to hate them...

worried..

Oh well.. It's midnight here..

I have just finished my homework, while accompanying my dearest husband watching DVDs.. He's asleep now.. :)

I have mixed feelings now. On one side I feel like going out and having a chit chat with my friends, but in the other hand, I also don't know what to share. Hihi.. I don't know.. it's just so hard to explain... The 'period' has successfully increased my sensitive and gloomy side. Hehehe..

I was doing my check-writing homework.. when suddenly I started to worry. The difficult times I faced around a month ago probably caused a bit of a trauma. As I was writing down the numbers on the checks, I asked God over and over.. "God, will I be able to pay all of these? I'm scared.." Even until now, the moment that I typed this blog, I'm still way too scared. I really would like to run away if I could.. But too bad, I can't..

I'm worried.. I'm scared..

I know worry won't add any inches to my life.. but sometimes you just can't help it, rite? Right now, I just don't know what to do. Worry has successfully makes me unable to see future positively.

I really don't know what my future days would be like. In this case, I don't know how much money I will get in the days ahead, but I already know how much money I will have to spend. Sounds scary, eh?

My husband and my dad chatted earlier in the afternoon. They talked about this month's sales, and also some prediction in the months ahead. The rainy season is here.. (oh well.. I think it has been a rainy year for Indonesia. It has been raining everyday since January :p) and we have to stock up our raw materials. My husband said that until the end of this month, he is very sure that we can make lots of sales, but he still doesn't have a clue for November onwards...

and November.. is the month when I have to make lots of payments... That's when I start worrying.

God, I'm scared.. Please help..

Difficult People?

On this day, God wants you to know
... that difficult people are very important, - they teach you tolerance and acceptance. If all was going your way all the time, you would become a spoiled child, wouldn't everyone? Difficult people are just one of the ways God teaches us to expand beyond our egos and accept other perspectives on life.

(From: "God wants you to know"applications in Facebook)