Friends Forever..

I always wonder what 'friends forever' is really like.. How do you know that he/she will be your friend forever?

Akhir-akhir ini, mungkin karena kesibukan saya dan Catur, saya merasakan ada 'something missing' in my life. Apalagi ketika saya membuka facebook dan melihat photo updates-nya teman-teman saya dan itu bener-bener membuat saya iri setengah mati. Oh Gosh! I miss them a lot..

Sekali lagi, mungkin karena kesibukan saya dan keletihan yang saya alami, membuat saya berpikir yang tidak-tidak tentang mereka. Dan saya juga mulai introspeksi diri saya, apakah ada yang salah dengan saya? Saya bener-bener merasa 'left out' ..

Saya pikir.. ya sudahlah.. Mungkin memang 'waktu' saya untuk mereka sudah selesai. Sounds 'lebay'?? Hehehe.. ya maklum deh.. saya termasuk tipe 'melankolis'.. :P Dan saya juga bukanlah seseorang yang dengan mudahnya bisa berteman dengan siapa saja. Saya terkesan kaku, pendiam (errr.. Belum tau dia.. Once I talk, I cannot stop.. :D), judes.. (untuk yang ini, I tried not to look like that.. tapi apa daya ya.. bawaan lahir.. Hihihi).. Jadi saat saya bener-bener mendapatkan seorang teman, apalagi sahabat, I'll treasure him/her the most. Saya akui, mungkin terkadang terkesan posesif, mungkin 'keposesifan' saya ini yang membuat saya iri dengan teman-teman saya, atau mereka memilih untuk menjauh dari saya.. Oh well.. time to change, then :p

Tetapi ya gitu.. tiba-tiba muncullah pertanyaan tadi.. "Is there such thing as 'friends forever'.. or do friendships change over time?" Dan konklusi saya jatuh pada "Yes. Friendships do change over time."

It's so nice when friends turn to "best friends".. but it hurts when best friends downgrade to ordinary friends..

I found some quotes about friendship that I like..

“Good friends are like stars.... You don't always see them, but you know they are always there”

“Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart”

Anyway, may be it's just a part of my mellow 'curhat' .. Treasure your friends!

Difficult People?

On this day, God wants you to know
... that difficult people are very important, - they teach you tolerance and acceptance. If all was going your way all the time, you would become a spoiled child, wouldn't everyone? Difficult people are just one of the ways God teaches us to expand beyond our egos and accept other perspectives on life.

(From: "God wants you to know"applications in Facebook)

Forever Friends..

"We're forever friends...bound by love that time can't take away.

Forever friends...caring in a special kind of way.

Heart to heart and hand in hand.

We'll stand until the end.

Love's forever when...we're forever friends."

Saya mempunyai seorang teman. Saya bisa berkenalan sama dia pertama kali, karena dia adalah temannya Catur, suami saya. Mereka sudah berteman sejak lama, sejak masih sekolah mungkin... Sama-sama dari Pekalongan, sama-sama kuliah di UKI (walaupun beda fakultas), pernah nge-kost di tempat yang sama, bergereja di gereja yang sama.. Yah bisa dikatakan teman seperjuangannya Catur.

Saya ingat, hubungan pertemanan kami sangat akrab sampai sebelum saya berangkat ke Perth untuk sekolah. Bahkan beberapa tahun setelah itupun, kami masih asyik-asyik aja.. masih haha-hehe bareng walaupun frekuensinya berkurang. Dan siapa sangka, lama-lama frekuensinya makin dan semakin berkurang, sehingga saat ketemu, yah.. kayak hanya sebatas "hi" dan "bye".

Gereja kami memiliki 2 cabang: Perniagaan dan Duta Mas. Saya dan Catur kebanyakan berada di Perniagaan, sedangkan dia lebih banyak di Duta Mas. Mungkin karena jarang ketemu itulah, perlahan-lahan kami menjadi jauh.

Kalau ada istilah, "Tak kenal maka tak sayang" .. mungkin itulah yang terjadi.

Saya juga nggak tahu mulai kapan saya berpandangan negatif sama dia, dan ternyata Catur pun mengenakan kacamata yang sama dengan saya. Bukannya berusaha mendekati teman lama, malah bawaannya jadi kesel aja sama dia. (A little note buat my friend: you better read this until the very end.. jangan berhenti di sini aja.. :p)

Belum lagi omongan-omongan negatif tentang dia, yang saya dengar dari orang-orang, makin menambah rasa sebel saya sama dia. Sampai akhirnya saya HARUS melayani bersama-sama dengan dia, dalam satu ruangan yang sama.

Pada awalnya saya sempet complain.. Kenapa harus dia yang ditaruh di situ? (Karena sebelumnya ada orang lain yang menjalankan tugasnya). Belum lagi, sikapnya dia yang cool abis, yang sama sekali ga friendly ke saya. Bukan lagi kayak 2 orang teman yang pernah kenal... bener-bener kayak a total stranger buat saya, annoying pula. (Hihi.. sorry yah fren, tapi emang ini yang saya rasakan)..

Sampai akhirnya, beberapa minggu lalu.. mungkin di awal bulan ini.. Kok ya tiba-tiba di hati saya ada dia. Bukan berarti jatuh cinta lho.. Tapi ya, saya mulai memandang dia dari sisi yang berbeda. Saya mulai mengganti kacamata saya. Saya ngobrol sama suami saya tentang dia.. Apa pendapat saya mengenai dia, dan ternyata.. banyak hal-hal positif tentang dia yang dapat kami diskusikan.

Berawal dari sebuah dinner bareng dia dan teman-teman yang lain, lalu pergi kondangan bareng.. Sampai akhirnya.. saya bisa chat sama dia.. (thanks to BlackBerry technology).. dan akhirnya berakhir di sebuah cafe. Just the three of us, saya, Catur dan dia.

Di situ mulai terungkap.. Ternyata apa yang kelihatan, belum tentu apa yang sebenarnya terjadi. Dia cerita betapa terpukulnya dia saat harus mengakhiri hubungan sama kekasihnya (please pardon my puitis words.. :P), hal-hal yang dia alami dalam pelayanan dan pekerjaan... Oh man, saat itu rasanya saya nyesellll banget dah pernah sebel sama dia.

Ternyata dia hanya membutuhkan seorang teman.

Seorang teman yang bisa diajak curhat, yang nggak sekedar haha-hehe..

Memang kita bisa berteman dengan siapa aja.. Tapi tidak dengan semua orang kita bisa berbagi. Betul betul betul??

Singkat cerita, kami ngobrol dan mencoba meluruskan kesalahpahaman yang terjadi selama ini. Yah, perlahan-lahan, hubungan persahabatan yang tadinya hampir retak, mulai dibangun kembali.

Saya bersyukur, dia juga sudah bisa mulai terbuka sama saya dan Catur.. dan semoga juga saya & Catur bisa membagi hidup sama dia. Kami nggak sempurna, dan mungkin along the way, kami bisa mengecewakan dia. Tetapi saya berjanji, saya mau berusaha menjadi sahabat, or mungkin seorang sister buat dia.

Friends, mungkin di antara kalian juga mengalami hal mirip-mirip dengan apa yang saya alami. Kita terkadang gampang menghakimi orang, gampang menilai orang .. dan biasanya nilai yang kita berikan itu negatif. Sekali kita memberikan nilai negatif sama seseorang, secara otomatis, kita mengenakan kacamata 'minus'.. (ini istilah saya). Saat kita memakai kacamata minus ini, apapun yang orang tersebut kerjakan, padahal dia melakukan sesuatu yang TER-baik, bagi kita akan tetap minus, tetap salah dan tetap negatif. Kalau kacamata itu terus-terusan kita pakai, ga menutup kemungkinan akan timbul kebencian.. yah mungkin mulai dari sebel tingkat rendah, sampai akhirnya benci tingkat akut sama orang tersebut. Padahal ujung-ujungnya kita sendiri yang dosa..

Mungkin ini saatnya kita melepaskan kacamata minus tersebut. Belajar untuk melihat situasi dari sudut pandang yang berbeda. Saat kita mulai memandang with a positive point of view.. semuanya bisa benar-benar berbeda. Kita harus mengganti kacamata kita. Itu saja.

Mungkin teman kita keliatannya udah susah banget dideketin, bener-bener rese' dan annoying banget. Tetapi percaya deh.. gimanapun juga, everyone needs a friend. Semua orang membutuhkan seorang teman. Kembali lagi terserah kita mau buka hati dan buka tangan untuk dia atau nggak.

Selagi kita masih diberikan kesempatan untuk hidup, ga ada salahnya kita berteman dengan banyak orang kan?

To all of my friends : I love you full!

(Buat 'teman' yang saya ceritakan di blog ini.. Sorry ya kalo kami sempet berpandangan negatif tentang kamu. We'll make it up to you.. and thanks for being our friend. Looking forward for our next coffee time :))

Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover

I went to my favourite 'bakso' restaurant the other day with my husband and brother-in-law. Since the restaurant is small and only has 2 parking lots, and those two were occupied. I parked my car at its neighbour's parking lot, which happens to sell bread and 'singkong keju' (deep-fried cassava with cheese on top)..

After having my delicious 'bakso', I decided to buy the fried cassava. While waiting for the cassavas, I look around the bakery and saw nice looking breads on the counter. The prices were reasonable for those good-looking breads, so I bought some for the kids and myself. I could imagine myself eating a soft and fluffy bread with a good taste, of course. Oh well, a perfect diet distraction I know :P

Later in the afternoon, I decided to have one of those breads. To my surprise, the taste was bad. I can tell that they're using cheap chocolate rice (mesis), and the bread was not soft and fluffy! *kasar dan seret* .. And I was totally disappointed. I once bought breads somewhere else, the price was a lot cheaper, but they are nicer to eat!

From this simple experience, I remembered a quote that says "Don't judge a book by its cover"... which simply means, don't judge something by its outward appearance. It is what inside that matters. However, I looked at it with a different perspective.

Let's put it this way:

I bought the bread because it looked nice --> I paid the price --> I ate the bread.

Although it didn't taste good. I admit, I ate the whole bread. "Sayang kan, udah dibeli.. masa dibuang??"

and let's compare it with this..

I met someone that is good-looking, and decided to make friends with him/her --> I invested my time in order to build our relationship --> That someone is not as nice as I thought before. At this point, we are faced with two choices: Continue building relationship with that someone.. or just dump that person out of our lives.

Ya beda donk Va, roti sama orang?? C'mon...

For me, it's quite similar. The bread that I ate, probably tastes good for some people. That's why the bakery keeps on making and selling it. It's a matter of my own taste. Rasanya ga cocok sama lidah gue.. The baker can proudly sell his bread, because according to him, it tastes good.

A person that we think is not nice, might be nice for other people. That person might not suit our style/character. Ga cocok lah dia sama gue, ga nyambung... But God created them, and they're still here on this earth. It simply means that there are still something good in them that we haven't find out. As we all know, the Bible says.. humans are created very very good! (sangat sangat baik)

Back to the quote.. "Don't judge a book by its cover". The book cover design might be bad (blame it on the designer :p), but what's in it might be good.. or vice versa. In order to find out what's in the book, we have no other options than to read it. It's not fair to say that a book is bad, when we only read a few chapters. We can say that a book is bad or good, after we finish reading it thoroughly (from chapter one till the very last page).

It is not fair to judge a person when we only 'read' one or two sections of their life. We really have to see a person thoroughly.. and I really believe that you will find something interesting in that person's life. Even sometimes reading a book once is not enough, you have to read it over and over again to understand its meaning.

Back to that bread story, and the book story... if they're existed until now, simply means that there are some people that believe that they are good.

And if there are some people that we consider them as bad, freak, weird, cupu.. but they're still here until now.. then God still believes that they are good.

So, stop judging the book by its cover. Since you have bought the book, you better read it .. doesn't matter if it is good or bad. Sayang kan kalo ga dibaca?? :)

A Friend?

If a friend comes to you only when he/she needs your help... will you still consider that person to be your friend??

I will. Although it hurts sometimes.. But again, I'm making myself available :)

Green with Envy

I was browsing through my friends' tweets on twitter.. And suddenly I'm green with envy.. I know I shouldn't.. But can't deny it, I'm jealous.

I love to hang out with friends. As I'm reading through their tweets, deep inside my heart, I really really really want to join them. But I can't. First, I live far far away from them. Second, I have a family to be taken care of. And of course, third.. I wasn't invited :p

Oh well, there is time when you can hold on to your friends, and there has to be a time when you have to let them go. I cannot hold on to my friends forever.. With all the busy-ness, age gap, and any other reasons, friendship can be a bit loose. Just wanna let my friends know, that I'll always be here when you need to talk. Copying what my 'family-like' fella, Grace Budhi told me once.. I'm making myself available. ^^

If somebody asks, what the best thing happened to my life throughout the year is.. My answer would be friend & community. I successfully make friends with quite a lot of people, and I now have communities. Not only one.. there are 3 of them I might say.. (I'm calling them communities, but I still don't know whether they take me as a part of their communities :p.. But I'm happy already :D)

Oh Gosh.. I really wanna hang out now! Anyone available???

Be a Blessing

Today I learned that ..

Being a blessing is not just about money.

It is also about time..

Being there when somebody needs you..

Lending an ear for someone who needs to be heard..

Giving your shoulder for others to cry on..

Cheering with someone when they're happy..

Grieving with someone when they're sad..

Supporting them when they need it the most..

Loving and accepting them just the way they are..

They are no perfect human-being in this world... That's why God created friends and families. God created you and I to be a blessing for each other.

"Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. " (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10a)