Marriage / Weddings

Marriage / Weddings.

Some women will smile when they hear this word.

Some men might be frowning.

After I got married, there are some girls that came up to me and asking, "Cici, how's married life? Oh I wish I can get married soon." I don't know why, but somehow "getting married" is in most women's number 1 wishlist. It becomes the most important goal that has to be achieved.

I'm not blaming those fairy-tales, with "and they lived happily ever after" written on the last page of the books. I'm not against those fantasy movies with those romantic scenes, actions, and the oh-so-perfect marriage lives. I'm not saying that marriage lives won't be as perfect, and that 'lived happily ever after' thingy never happened. It can happen, but it will need to be worked on each and everyday. Saying "I do" in front of the altar is just the beginning. The rest is up to you, whether you want to have a happy marriage or not.

The first thing that I would like to ask the girls is, "why do you want to get married as soon as possible?" Is it because of the princess-like gowns that can make people adore you, praise your beauty and make you feel you're the queen of the day? Is it because you want to have someone by your side each and every day? Is it because of (sorry) sex? Is it because you want to have kids? Is it because of your family asks you to? Or any other reasons probably?

I was shocked when I first attended the pre-marital class at the church. My pastor asked each male participants about the reason why they want to marry their girlfriend. I was like .. "O..o.. What should I answer if she asked me also?" All I know is I have dated my boyfriend long enough, and I'm ready for marriage life. My pastor told us the real answer for her question. We're fulfilling God's command, because marriage is created by God.

OK. In this case, I must admit that guys are wiser than the girls. Although sometimes because of their long long thought, they tend to postpone this marriage thingy.

Why do I say that guys are wiser?

They're thinking about what life's gonna be after they get married.

Will I still be able to hang out with friends? What if I'm not able to earn enough money to support my family? How's life like when I have kids? Will I this? Will I that?

While girls, oh come on. Admit it! We're just thinking of wearing those fancy wedding gowns, dreaming about the big day, dreaming of a perfect husband who always smells good, being with us all the time, ready to take care of us when we're sick, and all those romantic novels might teach us. I'm sorry girls, that probably won't happen. It's not I'm trying to break your dreams. But wake up! Guys do snores. Guys don't always smell good. They can get angry too. They can have problems, and they also need their own time.

Marriage needs a big responsibility. Marriage needs self-denial. Marriage needs a willingness to submit to each other. Marriage needs each other's respect. That is why I really really want to ask the questions to the girls who say "I wanna get married also" : "ARE YOU READY to take the responsibility?"

Getting married is cool. Indeed it is. Have you thought about the inlaws? The problems that might arise in the future? Are you ready to face them maturely?

Kids are cute. Yeah. But what about their education? Their childhood? Their needs? Are you ready for it? And they get sick too, you know?

My guy is the best. Yeah, rite. What if he is 'jorok'? Can you stand him?

I need a company. Yeah.. But can you sleep in one bed with your guy after an argument? He probably sleeps peacefully, while you're still playing with your own thinking, or may be you feel like running away from him.

I'm not trying to freak you out. Marriage is God's idea. If you and your partner are ready to take the responsibility, then go ahead. But if you're getting married because of those things I mentioned above, please think twice. Marriage is not a game. Marriage doesn't guarantee your happiness, as I said before, you have to work hard to achieve the happiness. Please get married when both of you are mentally and physically ready. **